About a month ago, my 6 year old had a porch playdate with her best friend. While it wasn’t the first time they were seeing each other post-quarantine, it was the first time they were spending a decent amount of time with one another and actually playing together. As her best friend’s mom and I sat on the porch chatting, I kept looking down at the girls, thinking they were unusually quiet. These are two outgoing, chatty girls so it seemed odd that they were quietly playing with the flip sequins on my daughter’s backpack and not really interacting with one another. I commented on this to the girls and jokingly told them it was ok to talk. A few minutes later, her friend’s dad came outside and was surprised to see us on the porch still. He said that it was so quiet outside, he thought we had gone for a walk.
This went on for the first hour or so of our visit, but eventually, the girls seemed to warm up and began playing and talking like their normal selves. I didn’t really give it much further thought until a week or so later when I was working with the staff of a small Catholic school in northern Indiana.
During the training, I asked the teachers to name their fears about returning to school in-person with students. One primary teacher in the back of the room raised her hand and said, “I’m worried about how the students will do communicating with one another.” She went on to add that since the kids had been quarantined for so long and not had the opportunity to interact with anyone outside of their immediate family, she was concerned about how they would interact with one another. Would they feel shy or scared? Would it cause anxiety in some? Many other teachers went on to agree with her and share their own stories of the anxiety they felt after their first trip to the grocery store or doctor’s office.
As the teachers continued talking through this with one another, I thought back to the day of the playdate. I suddenly realized that my daughter and her best friend were the perfect example of this teacher’s fear. I shared the story with the staff, and we all took the opportunity to reflect on how this might play out in the classroom environment.
Since that day, I have told this story at every school I’ve worked with, and without exception, at least one teacher raises their hand to say this is one of their fears. So, as educators and parents, what can we do to address this in our homes and classrooms?
Be open and honest with kids about the things we may now find difficult. Help them to understand that some things are going to be harder since we are out of practice. Tell the story of how overwhelmed you felt after your first trip to the grocery store. Talk about the things you did to help ease those feelings.
Be sure to let kids know that the way they are feeling is normal and they are not alone. Once we are able to name our recognize and name our emotions, they lose their power over us.
Understanding the root cause of a child’s fear is key to identifying strategies that will work for them. Are they fearful of being around people outside of their immediate family because of the virus? Do they feel overwhelmed by suddenly being thrown into a classroom with 20 other people? Are they feeling shy because they are away from their parents for the first time in 6 months? Dedicate a time to brainstorming strategies to help all students feel more comfortable communicating with their peers.
Practice, practice, practice. Given time, kids will become more comfortable doing the things that were once second nature. Provide them the time and space to make this happen. Role play a variety of situations, reinforce the strategies you brainstormed and integrate oral communication with peers into instruction as often as possible. Just as kids do at the beginning of every school year, they will soon become comfortable with this new environment they are in.
It will come. We are all adjusting to a new normal – new feelings, new routines, new rules. It may take a bit more time and practice than normal, but before you know it, the kids will be back to communicating more than you ever wanted them to!
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