school safety drills are here to stay: empowering educators with best practice tools and strategies for lockdown and active shooter drills

For the past week, I have struggled with what to say about the school shooting in Nashville. Not because I don’t have any thoughts or feelings on it, but because I’m not sure I have anything worthwhile or new to add to the conversation.

As an educator and mom, it’s frightening how numb our society is becoming to these mass shootings. But I suppose, as is the case for many scary things, we learn to compartmentalize in order to go on living and sending our kids to school each day.

For the past week (and if I’m being honest, for many more months prior to that), I have mulled over a myriad of thoughts about this school shooting, as well as all the others. Because my passion is kid’s social-emotional health and well-being, most of my thoughts center around that topic, and I have found myself returning over and over again to the same question.

Do the benefits of active shooter and lockdown drills outweigh the risks to our students and teachers?

The answer seems to be that no one knows for sure.

As a school administrator, I remember announcing these drills and walking the building, jiggling classroom door handles to ensure they were locked, peering through classroom windows to ensure the kids weren’t visible from where I was standing and admonishing teachers whose class “failed the test.”

I cringe now to think of the psychological damage being done to the students and teachers I loved like my own family, and I wonder how many hundreds or thousands of other schools in our country are doing the same.

As a mom of three kids, I feel outrage when I hear about active shooter and lockdown drills being conducted, not from the school administrators, but from my kids when they return home in the afternoon.

While I certainly don’t have all the answers (and from my research, it appears no one does), I do know that we can do better. We MUST do better.

So, rather than focusing on all that’s wrong (because that list is too long to think about), I am choosing to focus on empowering educators with tools and resources to reflect upon, share with administrators and use with students.

Here we go.

  1. National Association of School Psychologist’s “Best Practice Considerations for Armed Assailant Drills in Schools” – this is a very comprehensive manual that should be used by school or district administrators as part of their emergency preparedness plan
  2. Your Local Epidemiologist’s “Active Shooter Drills: Do Risks Outweigh Benefits?” – a quick and easy read for anyone
  3. National Association of School Psychologist’s “Mitigating Psychological Effects of Lockdowns” – a great fact sheet of tips and to-dos for before, during and after a lockdown drill
  4. National Association of School Psychologist’s “Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Parents and Teachers” – a fantastic infographic of tips for talking with children of all ages about violence, includes specific talking points and is available in Spanish
  5. National Education Association’s “Unannounced Active Shooter Drills Scaring Students Without Making Them Safer” – a great article on what NOT to do when conducting active shooter drills at school
  6. NPR’s “2 Big Teachers Unions Call for Rethinking Student Involvement in Lockdown Drills” – the case against lockdown drills
  7. Everytown’s “The Impact of Active Shooter Drills in Schools” – a whitepaper that includes loads of data and anecdotal evidence
  8. National Association of School Psychologist’s “School Safety Drills and Exercises for Students with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD): Tips and Resources for Educators” – best practices and specific strategies for a population of students often forgotten about during school safety drills

What other resources have you found helpful? Please share them in the comments.

The 6 types of Self-Care…A new youTube Series

If you follow me over on YouTube, you probably know that I’ve started a new series all about the 6 different types of self-care.

The idea for this series came about after I took a self-care assessment, and much to my dismay, found that I had failed 5 of the 6 types of self-care. I was honestly shocked. As someone who does what I do, I suppose I thought I had it figured out better than the average person. Clearly, I was wrong.

So what can you expect from the videos in this series?

Each video will take you through one of the types – what it is and what it looks like if you’re doing it well.

I promise that this will not be a series of videos of me telling you to light a candle, take a bath and eat some chocolate. It will be me giving you the tools to build self-awareness and understanding of how you’re caring for yourself well and how you aren’t.

If you’re someone who cares for everyone around you and winds up with an empty fuel tank for yourself, this series is for you. Come on over here and join me!

My favorite series for teaching kids about social problem solving

If you haven’t heard of, or read, the “What Should Danny Do?” series by Ganit and Adir Levy, you need to check them out!

Written in a “Build Your Own Adventure” kind of way, each book contains 8-9 separate stories. As children read the book, they are given choices about how Danny (or now, Darla!) should react or proceed. Based on the choices they make, the story leads them down a different path.

The scenarios in the book are all ones that are familiar to kids – fighting over toys with a sibling, breaking something that belongs to someone else, standing up for others. With each choice they make, kids will begin to see how Danny’s actions determine the consequences.

This series really is a must-have for any school or home library! There are so many different social-emotional learning skills that are reinforced throughout the books, and the format of the books really encourages conversation between grown-ups and kids!

My New Favorite picture book for teaching kids about conflict resolution

There’s a new favorite book in our house.

It all started about a week ago when I snagged this book at the library while searching for books to use in an SEL project I’m working on. I read it, liked it and then decided it didn’t exactly fit the section I intended it for so I set aside to return to the library the next day.

That night, my youngest asked me to read him some books before bedtime. He spied this book sitting on the end table so we sat down and read it. As soon as we finished, he asked me to read it again. Since that evening, I have probably read it to him 5-6 times.

Here’s the thing about this book…it doesn’t have fancy illustrations or rhyming text. Heck, it was originally published in 1973 so it’s even, dare I say, a bit outdated. What it does have, though, is a premise that is a bit silly and a bit ridiculous. More importantly, it has several great underlying themes and messages. It’s even great for kids who want to flex their logical-mathematical muscles.

So what is this magical book that captured the attention of my 5 year old? It’s The Brownstone by Paula Scher.

It’s all about 6 different families of animals that live in a three-story brownstone, and just as in real life, sometimes conflict arises between these neighbors. It’s Mr. Owl’s job, as the landlord, to help them all figure out how to live harmoniously in the brownstone.

The book really hits, not only on conflict resolution, but also on the themes of friendship, kindness, social problem solving and acceptance and diversity. There’s a LOT to pull out of this short, easy to read picture book! Plus, as I mentioned, your kiddos that enjoy a good puzzle or problem to solve will get a kick out of trying to solve the puzzle before Mr. Owl does.

Enjoy!

my 5 favorite picture books for teaching kids about friendship

Friendship is a theme that you can find in a whole host of children’s books which is fortunate since it is a topic that often needs revisited with kids. Whether you have students finding it difficult to be a kind friend or your own children are experiencing friendship struggles at school, I’m sure you’ll find a book on the list below that could be helpful in talking to younger kids about the concept of friendship.

When Glitter Met Glue by Karen Kilpatrick

This wonderful picture book is all about what to do when one person in a friendship feels invisible. Find out how Glitter and Glue team up to help Glue shine like some of their other friends.

Peanut Butter and Cupcake by Terry Border

This witty picture book with awesome photo illustrations is a great one to turn to when kids are feeling lonely and struggling to find friends. Read to find out how Bread searches and searches for his perfect pairing.

The Circles All Around Us by Brad Montague

This is one of my absolute favorite picture books for so many reasons. There are so many wonderful themes that can be extracted from this book. If you’re looking for a book about friendship, kindness or inclusivity, this is the one!

This book is all about how the circles of people around us (our relationships) grow as we get older to include, not only family, but also friends, neighbors and other people from our community with whom we connect and feel safe. This book serves as a great springboard for a conversation on how we grow those circles through kindness and by being a good friend.

Dude! by Aaron Reynolds

If you have a child who feels excluded or students making snap judgments about another student, this book is for you!

This book is about platypus and beaver, friends who just want to go surfing. Unfortunately, they are afraid to surf because they share an ocean with shark. As he approaches and they get to know him, though, they find out that maybe there’s more to shark than what they originally thought.

You Will Be My Friend! by Peter Brown

This is the perfect book for those kiddos who just aren’t sure how to go about making friends.

In this story, we learn from Bear just how hard it is to make friends, how persistence is the key and how sometimes, we find the best friends in the most unlikely places.

I hope you have a chance to check out these wonderful books! In the comments, let me know what other books you like for the theme of friendship.

8 Steps to Building a Trauma-Informed School: A new youtube series

I’m excited to announce my brand new YouTube series – 8 Steps to Building a Trauma-Informed School. This series of 9 videos will begin with an overview of the 8 steps, and then subsequent videos will dive deeper into each step individually.

In each video, you can expect to learn more about each step and what it takes to accomplish it. This series is great for administrators, school counselors and educators who are interested in learning more about the steps needed to create cultural change in the school environment. Even if you aren’t prepared to tackle a huge, new initiative, I encourage you to check out the videos to gauge your own schools’ strengths and areas of need.

If you are ready to tackle a trauma-informed school initiative, send me an email at akedconsult@gmail.com. I will soon be opening up registration for 1 and 2 year partnerships that will kick off in August 2023 and spots will be limited!

My 5 Favorite books for teaching kids about acceptance & diversity

Teaching kids about acceptance and diversity is, obviously, a very important topic right now. In a world filled with so much hatred, judgment and violence, it’s critical that we turn things around for the next generation.

Check out 5 of my favorite books to start a conversation with kids on understanding and accepting the differences among us.

We’re All Wonders by R.J. Palacio

This is the picture book version of the author’s bestselling book, Wonder. It is the same powerful story of Auggie but contains illustrations and is geared toward a younger audience. This book is a great for reading and discussing topics such as differently-abled people, kindness and belonging in a sometimes cruel world.

I’m an Immigrant Too! by Mem Fox

This wonderful rhyming book tells the story of all the ways immigrants have enriched the author’s home country of Australia. It’s a wonderful way to help children understand the many ways in which people contribute to their communities. Additionally, many children will be able to relate to, and make connections with, the characters in the book.

I’m a Girl by Yasmeen Ismail

Bust those gender stereotypes with this book about a strong, fast and capable little girl who often gets mistaken for a boy. As the story progresses, she befriends a boy who likes pink and princesses. This is a must-read with students who are uncomfortable expressing who they are and what they like.

Drum Dream Girl: How One Girl’s Courage Changed Music by Margarita Engle

Inspired by the true story of a Chinese-African-Cuban girl, this book tells the story of the little girl who just wanted to play the drums but unfortunately, lived in Cuba where it was taboo for girls to be drummers. Read to find out how she was able to break that taboo and realize her dream of being accepted for who she wanted to be.

Last Stop on Market Street by Matt de la Pena

This is the story of a little boy who begins to wonder why his life looks so different than his friends – why he doesn’t have the same luxuries and gadgets. With each question he asks his grandma, her answers help him see the beauty of the world he DOES live in and their life together. A must read for helping students to understand the life can be rich in a variety of ways.

My 5 favorite picture books for teaching kids about self esteem

Self-esteem is something many kids (and adults!) struggle with. It’s the ability to see the good in ourselves, be proud of ourselves and believe in ourselves, even when we may not, at first, succeed.

This is a daunting task for many kids, though. Does this scenario sound familiar? Your child (or student) makes a simple mistake or is redirected by an adult and immediately starts beating themselves up, berating themselves for messing up or calling themselves ugly names. Despite your best efforts to the contrary, this is a trap many of our kids fall into, and it’s not healthy for a lot of reasons.

According to the American Psychological Association, having high self-esteem is critical to our mental health and well-being. In fact, studies show that low self-esteem is highly correlated to depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, eating disorders and suicidal ideation.

So how do we help kids beef up their self-esteem? It’s all about changing thought patterns. Remember, our thoughts determine our feelings and behaviors or actions (see the Cognitive Triangle below). If the cycle begins with negative thoughts, it’s more likely that the feelings and behaviors that follow will also be negative. However, if the cycle begins positive, then positive feelings and behaviors are more likely to follow.

So how do we encourage kids to engage in positive self-talk (or teach them what that even means!) or springboard a discussion on self-esteem? Check out my list of favorite picture books on this topic below.

Giraffes Can’t Dance by Giles Andreae

This is the story of Gerald the giraffe. He has dreams of dancing, but his knobby knees and spindly legs make it hard for him UNTIL he gets some encouraging words from a friend.

Fiona Flamingo by Rachael Urrutia Chu

Fiona gets made fun of for being the only flamingo with different colored feathers. Find out how she finally learns to accept being different than the rest of her flock in this wonderful story that also has a great message about emotional intelligence.

Ricky, the Rock that Couldn’t Roll by Jay Miletsky

Ricky is the only one of his rock friends who can’t play around and roll. Why? Because he has one flat side. Determined to include their friend, the other rocks set out to help Ricky roll.

Elmer by David McKee

There’s something different about Elmer, and although, the other elephants love Elmer for those differences, he just wants to look like everyone else. Find out how Elmer learns to love himself and be celebrated by all his friends when he sets out to look like all the other elephants.

Pink is for Boys by Robb Pearlman

With a group of very relatable characters, this book sets out to bust gender stereotypes by encouraging boys and girls to do what they love and express themselves in every color of the rainbow.

What are some of your favorite books on self-esteem? I’d love to hear about them!

My 5 favorite picture books for teaching kids about growth mindset

Growth mindset is something we’ve been hearing a lot about in recent years, but what is it really and how do we teach kids about it?

Simply stated, a growth mindset is the belief that you and your brain can grow and learn new things. In other words, you are not just born smart; you can BECOME smart.

The opposite of a growth mindset is a fixed mindset. This is where many people, including kids, get trapped. It’s the belief that, if you can’t do something right now, you will never be able to do it.

This simply isn’t true, though. We know that the human brain is malleable, or able to change and grow. It can become stronger through effort, trying new and different things and asking for help, when needed.

The research also shows that parent and teacher interactions play a big role in forming a child’s mindset. We have the ability to help kids become more resilient through our words and actions. We can do this by focusing our praise on the process versus a child’s ability, teaching kids the importance of trying new strategies when they aren’t successful and how asking for the assistance or opinions of others can be beneficial.

If all of this sounds great, but you still aren’t sure where to start, check out these 5 picture books that will serve as a springboard for discussion of this topic.

The Dot by Peter H. Reynolds

This is, of course, a fan favorite. It is about a little girl who dislikes art class because she doesn’t think she is a good artist. Her teacher encourages her to simply begin with a single dot and see where it takes her. This one interaction begins a journey of discovery for the little girl which is very relatable for many of our kids.

Emmanuel’s Dream: The True Story of Emmanuel Ofosu Yeboah by Laurie Ann Thompson

This is the true story of a little boy born in Ghana with a deformed leg. While most people dismiss Emmanuel because of his disability, his mother pushes him to dream big. He eventually becomes a cyclist who rides across Ghana, spreading his message of perseverance, courage and strength.

The Thing Lou Couldn’t Do by Ashley Spires

Lou really wants to be brave and climb a tree like all her friends, but she’s never done it before and is convinced she can’t. Despite brainstorming lots of methods for getting to the top of the tree, she isn’t able to make it. Her friends cheer her on and remind her that she can’t do it YET and she can always try again tomorrow. A great reminder for all our kids that they are on their way to accomplishing their goals, even if they haven’t succeeded yet.

I’m Not Just a Scribble by Diane Alber

Scribble realizes he’s different when he meets other drawings and gets made fun of. Eventually, the other drawings come to realize that Scribble is not bad just because he’s different. In fact, Scribble teaches them that he has a lot to add to their lives! A great message to accept others for who they are and what they have to offer the world.

Mistakes that Worked: 40 Familiar Inventions and How They Came to Be by Charlotte Foltz Jones

A wonderful nonfiction book about mistakes that changed the world. Kids will learn how sandwiches, potato chips, Silly Putty and many other common items came to be…by accident!

There are so many wonderful books out there to help teach kids about growth mindset. What are some of your favorites?

My favorite professional books and podcasts

I love to read. A lot. I also love listening to podcasts, especially when I’m traveling. Most of what I read and listen to (at least for professional purposes) is on topics like trauma, resilience and mindfulness.

My most recent read (and possibly, my favorite) was “What My Bones Know” by Stephanie Foo. It’s a memoir on the author’s history of trauma and her journey to find healing. She also incorporates a good amount of science and research into her writing. I truly believe this book is a must-read for parents, teachers or anyone who works with children in some capacity.

Since I often get asked for recommendations on books from teachers and school counselors, I decided to put together a list of some of my favorite professional books and podcasts. Much like the SEL picture book list (which you can find here), this list will be an ever-growing Google Doc. As I read and listen, I will add to it. Check it out and bookmark it so you know where to find it, and if you have suggestions of books I need to read or podcasts I need to listen to, send them my way!

Find the professional book and podcast list here. Enjoy!