I’m excited to bring back my popular parent workshop, “Hello Summer: Going from Surviving to Thriving with Your Kids,” for 3 virtual events this May and June.
If you’re already dreading this summer and worrying about how you’ll survive having your kids home for weeks on end, join me for an hour of learning about how we can move from just surviving the summer to actually thriving at home with our kids.
We will discuss some of the struggles our kids have during the summer that contribute to their behavior and attitude challenges, and most importantly, I’ll share lots of tips and strategies for dealing with those behaviors.
Let’s fill your toolbox with practical ways to create a more peaceful and productive home environment that allows you and your kids to connect and have fun this summer!
Head over to my Eventbrite page to see dates and times and get registered!
As parents, we all know the types of things we need to do to raise kind kids. We set expectations for manners, we model through our words and actions, we correct when we see fit.
One thing that can be tricky about teaching kindness to kids, though, is something that even adults often struggle with – how to be kind and take the high road when being kind is hard.
We’ve all encountered situations where someone has been extremely unkind to us, bullied us or lashed out at us for no reason. In those instances, being the bigger person can be especially difficult.
Now imagine being a kid and trying to make the right choice in one of those situations.
What can we do to help our kids not react in these situations but instead, take the high road and continue to be kind? Here are a few tips…
Put yourself in their shoes – This can be hard, but sometimes putting ourselves in another person’s shoes brings out empathy rather than anger. This is certainly not an easy skill to build, especially for kids, but it is one that is so important so start building those muscles now!
Practice – Set kids up for success by practicing what to say to someone who is grieving, going through something difficult, is differently abled, etc. Oftentimes, kids are unsure of what to say or how to react in situations like these, and that uncertainty can come off as fear or unkindness. Prep them ahead of time by practicing what is appropriate and what’s not.
Walk away – Sometimes it’s better to just disengage and walk away.
Apologize – Teach your kids to apologize! There are going to be times when they mess up, don’t take the high road, etc., and that’s ok. In those situations, they need to know how to genuinely apologize. Model this for them by apologizing when YOU are unkind.
Being kind to someone who is being unkind to us is a hard skill for anyone to learn. Start building their emotional regulation muscles early with these tips.
We’ve come to the final mind-body skill in this series – visualization, the process of creating mental images using our imagination. This might seem like a childish technique, but the benefits of visualization are aplenty.
Studies have shown that visualization can help us achieve goals, reduce stress, increase self-confidence and enhance our creativity and problem solving skills.
Additionally, visualization is a technique that can be employed in a variety of areas in life, including sports training, academics, goal setting, relaxation and more.
There are lots of different visualization strategies. Here are a few:
Guided Imagery – In this strategy, you listen to or read a script that describes a relaxing scene or inspiring scenario to promote relaxation and stress reduction. You can also do this on your own by simply imagining yourself in a relaxing setting or a place that brings you comfort and joy.
Positive Affirmations – This strategy uses positive self-talk, combined with visualization, to reinforce certain beliefs about yourself or goals you are working toward. You, simultaneously, repeat a statement such as “I am loved by many” while imagining yourself surrounded by those who love and care for you.
Mental Rehearsal – This strategy is a way to rehearse events or situations that you will be in that you find difficult, challenging or frightening. For instance, if you have to give a speech in front of a large audience and are terrified of public speaking, mental rehearsal can be used to imagine yourself, from the very beginning to the very end, successfully giving the speech to an engaged and supportive group of people. In this strategy, it’s important to focus on the feelings of confidence and success.
The key to deepening the visualization experience in any of these strategies is employing as many of the five senses as you can. Imagine the sights, sounds and smells around you, the things you can reach out and touch, what something would taste like (if this applies to your visualization journey).
Another important thing to remember about visualization is that it is not just a strategy for adults. Kids can be taught to effectively use visualization strategies in a variety of ways. Visualizing while reading a book is already something we teach in our classrooms; this is a great introduction for teaching kids to use the same strategy in different ways.
You can find a multitude of guided imagery practices online or on different apps like Headspace and Calm. Many of these are even geared specifically toward kids.
How do you use visualization in your life? What benefits have you enjoyed?
Whenever I ask a group of educators what they do to calm down or ease stress and anxiety, very few of them say they write or journal. These seem to be activities that people either love or hate.
For the people out there who love them, here are some great ways to incorporate writing into your de-escalation/stress relief/calm down routine. All of these activities can easily be used with kids at home or in the classroom as well.
Ten Favorite… – Pick a category, any category, and write your 10 favorites. For instance, jot down your 10 favorite meals, your 10 favorite things about fall or your 10 favorite ways to spend a lazy day. This writing strategy serves as a great activity for distracting our brain from the stress/anxiety/anger/etc. we are feeling.
Today, I Feel… – At the beginning or end of each day, write 1-2 sentences describing how you feel. How do you feel about the day ahead? How do you feel now that the day is behind you?
Brain Dump – Are there any others out there who struggle to fall asleep at night because of all the thoughts jumbled up in your brain…the things you need to remember or do the next day? Put a little notebook next to your bed, and the next time those thoughts are keeping you awake, get them all out on paper. It doesn’t have to look pretty (sometimes I even do this in the dark!)…you just need to get all those thoughts out of your head. Once you’ve done so, give your brain permission to rest and go to sleep!
Gratitude Journaling – Did you know that speaking your gratitude aloud actually makes you happier? Yep, it’s true! So write it down! Make a list, write it in paragraph form, whatever…just take a few minutes each day to focus on what you’re grateful for.
Are you a journal-er? What writing activities do you enjoy doing to de-stress?
I shared this on my various social media channels this week but figured I’d jot a few thoughts here as well.
I really started thinking about this last week. After a long car ride at the end of Labor Day weekend, I was struggling to sit at my desk the following day and get work done. I couldn’t sit still. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t get comfortable. It really hit me that some of our students struggle with these feelings on a daily basis.
Even thought I’m well aware of the inherent benefits of flexible seating, I had never truly thought about how this can be a total game changer for some kids. I know some of this information is common sense, but we can’t ignore the fact that providing flexible seating options is a shift in mindset for many educators.
If you are one of those educators, it’s OK! Take a minute to read over the infographic above. How could you implement small changes to your classroom seating to benefit your students? What baby steps can you take?
If you’re an educator who has fully bought in, what changes have you noticed in your students? What flexible seating options do you provide in your classroom? I’d love to hear!
I am not at all musically inclined. I actually prefer to never have music playing in the background – at home, in the car, anywhere. I know, I know…it’s weird.
As you can imagine, this category of mind-body skills is not one that I lean into very often, and that’s ok. Music is life for many people so, once in awhile, it’s good to push ourselves outside of our comfort zone and try something new. For me, when creating my mind-body skills training, that meant finding musical activities that would speak to a wide variety of people.
We all know there are a million different YouTube and Spotify channels where we can stream music and calming sounds into our classrooms. Those are great to use during transitions, independent work time, etc. Many of us use music in a cross-disciplinary manner through phonics chants, math songs, etc. These are all fantastic ways to incorporate music into the classroom, but what other ways can we tap into the power of music?
Hands down, my favorite activity that I came across while researching for the mind-body skills training was an activity where we connect music to specific memories. Remember, anything sensory (sounds, smells, sights, textures, tastes, etc.) can evoke both positive and negative memories from even the deepest recesses of our brain. Often, recalling those positive memories can bring us peace, joy, laughter or contentment.
The example I used recently at a school I was working with can be found below.
I only intended to play a portion of this song and then connect it to a specific memory, as an example for the group of teachers. However, about 10 seconds into the song, I realized we would be listening to the entire thing because the song immediately began to evoke memories for all of THEM!
Even if they did not tie this song to a specific memory, as I do, it brought back memories for many of them of the movie, being in a certain place in life, where they first saw this movie, etc. We ended up having the best time just singing along to this song!
Give it a try! What song evokes strong, positive memories for you? Go give it a listen and just sit with it for a few minutes.
Ask your music-loving students to try out this exercise. Not only can we recall these memories when we are in a place of balance, but we can also use them when we are feeling sad, angry or overwhelmed. That’s what mind-body skills are all about!
Typically, in schools, art projects are left to the art teacher except in preschool and kindergarten. However, art is one of the best ways for kids to express themselves and their emotions. Fortunately, there are some very simple ways for classroom teachers to incorporate expressive art into their classrooms as a mind-body skill.
Remember several years back when adult coloring books became all the rage? Why do you think that is? As adults, we are so stressed out and overwhelmed by life – jobs, kids, keeping the house clean – that we are constantly seeking out ways to de-stress. Unfortunately, we typically convince ourselves that we don’t have time to do the things that bring us peace and joy – reading, exercising, taking a walk – and we turn to unhealthy behaviors that make us feel good quickly – eating, drinking, shopping. Adult coloring books changed that for many people. We found a sort of calm in breaking out our good markers or colored pencils and mindlessly coloring designs on a page.
While coloring books are still a great option for kids and adults alike, there are so many other simple ways to use art as a calming tool. Here are a few of my favorites:
Try a New Medium – Fingerpaint, charcoals, chalk, modeling clay…the list goes on and on. The next time you ask your students to pull out their crayons or markers, consider a different medium. Switching to one of the mediums listed above (or one of the dozens of others) is a great way to provide kids a different kind of sensory experience that they may not be accustomed to.
Sand – Instead of having students practice their spelling words or complete their phonics work with paper and a pencil, give them a sand tray! This multi-sensory experience has many developmental benefits and has been proven to activate the brain!
Create Your Own Coloring Page – Have students create their own coloring page for mindful coloring. These can be used during transitions, at the end of the day or class or when work is completed. Bonus – they are so simple to create!
First, create a simple design of loops or other shapes, using a black marker. It can be as simple or intricate as you’d like.
Then, color it in, as you have time!
What other ways do you incorporate art into the classroom? How do your students respond to these activities?
**This is Part 2 of a 7 part series on Mind-Body Skills. Check out the introductory post here or follow along on my YouTube channel.
Many of us regularly use movement strategies as one of our go-to tools for calming down or relieving stress. Think about it. When you are stressed, anxious or overwhelmed, do you go for a walk…hit the gym…take the dog for a run? Maybe not, but if you’re anything like me, you can identify with this strategy.
Not only does movement keep our body healthy and in tip-top shape, it does the same for our brain. Two good reasons to encourage movement as a regulation strategy for kids, right?
Here are a few of my favorites:
Sensory Path: If you work in a school and don’t have a sensory path, I’d encourage you to check out this website and consider it. Not only are they so cute and kid-friendly, they are a fantastic way to get kids moving in a different way. They can be used by individual kids or the entire class!
Brain Gym: I was introduced to Brain Gym by a teacher at a school I was consulting with. While I had not heard of Brain Gym specifically, I was familiar with the power of exercises that encourage kids to cross the midline. If you’re a newbie, learning more about Brain Gym and the corresponding exercises is a great place to start.
5 Senses Nature Walk: Get outside and work those 5 senses, along with your body! What do you see…hear…smell…feel…taste (well, maybe not this one!)? There are so many benefits to walking in nature. Think you don’t have nature around you? Remember, it certainly doesn’t have to be a forest to count as nature so get creative!
What Time is it, Mr. Fox?: This is a fun (and multi-disciplinary!) game for younger elementary students.
Color Search: Go on a color search. Whether it’s around the house, the school or outdoors, get kids moving and identifying objects of various colors.
Tape Jumping Game: This one is so simple and has a million different versions. While it is more geared toward younger kids, you can certainly amend the rules (and distance between tape pieces) for older kids.
**This is Part 1 of a 7 part series on Mind-Body Skills. Check out the introductory post here or follow along on my YouTube channel.
Mindful breathing strategies are a great place to begin when teaching kids mind-body skills. Why? Because when we mindfully breathe, our brain sends a message to our heart, telling it to slow down. As a result, our heart rate slows and we can begin to calm down and better regulate. Additionally, breathing strategies are some of the easiest to learn, especially for young children.
Below you will find some of my favorite breathing techniques and other resources…
Five Finger Breathing (sometimes called Mountain Breathing): this is my all-time favorite breathing technique for kids because it’s simple, easily understandable and lends itself well to a simple visual reminder on the wall.
Box Breathing: another favorite for all the same reasons as above. Definitely, my own go-to breathing technique!
Not too long ago, I announced my newest training – Brains on Stress Can’t Learn: Mind-Body Skills to Destress Your Students (and Yourself!).
In the next several posts here on the blog (and over on my YouTube channel), I am going to dive a little deeper into the different categories of mind-body skills and share some great resources.
First of all, what are mind-body skills? In a nutshell, they are strategies that can be used to help us de-escalate or cope with big emotions. We can explicitly teach them to kids as part of a daily mindfulness practice so that they can learn the strategies while their brains and bodies are calm. Then, when their brains and bodies AREN’T calm, they know how to use them to reach a more regulated state.
Why are these strategies important for kids to know? Well, if you are teacher, you might have noticed a shift in our students over the past several years. Many of them have parents who are external regulators, meaning THEY are regulating their child’s emotional state in negative ways. Parents are doing this by giving in to tantrums and demands, working overtime to soothe kids and doing everything they can to ensure their kids DON’T fail or encounter any sort of difficult situation. They are sheltering their children from challenges and solving their problems for them. The result is a generation of kids who are struggling to problem solve, effectively communicate with others, self-regulate and more.
Not only do we need to take a good, hard look at the social-emotional skills we are instilling in our kids, we also need to begin providing a more solid foundation for them to become their own regulators. We do that by teaching kids how to recognize, identify and label their emotions and giving them the tools to manage those emotions themselves.
That’s where mind-body skills come in.
Mind-body skills can be categorized into 7 groups:
Breathing
Movement
Mindfulness
Visualization
Expressive Art
Music
Writing & Journaling
Over the next several posts, I am going to break each of these categories down even further and provide specific strategies and resources that can be used to explicitly teach that strategy to kids. Whether you are a teacher, a parent or just someone who cares about kids, I hope you’ll join me for this series!
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